Friday, June 21, 2013

My Dad

This last Sunday (Father's Day) I had to speak in church. Blah! So I spoke on 3 father's in my life. My dad, the father to my children (Greg) and my Father in Heaven. When I was coming up with what I was going to say about my dad I also thought it would be a perfect time to write about him on the blog. Here are some bits and pieces from my talk.
 
My Dad is amazing. He is one of my hero’s. He holds a dear place in my heart. Growing up my dad worked hard and was gone traveling on the road a lot for his job.
He was raised by his parents but his mother had polio and in a wheel chair his whole life. The oldest brother to 3 sisters. So he knew how to take care and of his family.
He married his sweetheart, my mom, and had 4 awesome kids. :) 
He has worked hard to provide and sacrificed so much for his family.
He and my mom are both the most selfless people I know.
He was a great handy man and could fix things.
He loved to show us kids a good time.
He had a unique sense of humor.
He has such a strong testimony and knowledge of the gospel. We could ask him anything.
He had the qualities I wanted to find in a spouse.
It was hard for him to be traveling so much of our teenage/adult lives. He missed out on a lot.
We were always so happy when he would be home.
He loved getting down on the floor and playing cars or building blocks with his grandkids. And taking them on walks.
And I loved seeing my boys love their “big papa”.
 
I am saying it in past tense. Because now we are losing my dad to Alzheimer’s. He doesn’t get to “play” with the grandkids anymore, or chat with his family. He has suffered little strokes and that has effected his memory. He was forgetting names, and words when he was trying to say something. So 4 years ago we decided to have him "tested" by the Dr's. And they said he has early on-set Alzheimer's. We didn't know about the strokes until after. For a while we thought maybe it must be from the strokes and it affects his memory and ability to form a sentence. But I think that certainly played a factor in his current condition. But we all see him getting worse. He can't have conversations, he forgets all the words and thoughts he has. He gets confused. And frazzled with all the rambunctious grandkids around.
He is too young, and it’s heart breaking and hard to see. I’ll cry and, it makes me sad. And sad that my children won’t know him like I want them too.
My parents must be scared with what lies ahead of them. Their faith teaches me to have faith. And it show’s me to enjoy life while you can.  My mom's dad (my Grandpa Jensen) actually had and died from Alzheimer's. So my mom is very familiar with it. I imagine it's very scary for them. I've always assumed my dad would die of a heart attack- considering his health, but now he has this awful mind disease. It makes me so sad.
 
So for now, he functions ok. Taking care of himself while my mom is at work. He loves having something to do. If I stop by to visit him or take him on a walk up to the Boulevard in Bountiful. I think he loves getting out of the house. And he loves when my mom gets home from work. We are all hoping he is able to be alone for a few more months until my mom retires and takes care of him full time.
A running joke in our family is when a few years ago my dad put Hershey's Chocolate Syrup on his fried chicken and ate it. Or just last week he put strawberry jam on his scrambled eggs. Makes me chuckle. I feel proud when he does try and say something and it's a guessing game for me to come up with what words he might be trying to think of to say with his story of whatever. But that is happening less and less. So far he seems to still know who we are. -for now. There are moments and he has "good days" and bad days.
 
I love my dad and hate to lose him so early in life. And I hope that with this disease on both sides of my family, that I don't suffer from it either! Yikes.
 
***

Here are a few good classic Lee (dad) photos. The first is when he was a baby. 1 yr. to 18 months maybe?  It's a nice good 1940's picture. I've always liked it, and like the hat he's wearing. What a cutie little one he was.
Then the other 3 pics, well it is my dad. Napping - always. Being a horse and playing with the kids - very good at playing. And a picture of him as a grandpa laughing while he feeds baby Jax.
 
 
 
As I was going through the albums I was reminded that he never looks at the camera. He hated the flash. So in all these many pictures he is looking away from the camera. Great, thanks Dad. All the pictures of you, you aren't looking at the camera like everyone else.
I have memories of each picture that is in the collage. I love it. The big one in the middle was a Sunday night, he was still dressed for church because he was the Bishop and just got home while we celebrated Cameron's 9th B-day. My dad loved the train as much as the kids. I wish I could go through and tell about each picture. Can you image filling an album with all the memories and details. I'd love it but wouldn't love doing it. What a task.
 

These 2 pictures are 2 good ones of my dad looking directly at the camera. So we have a few. Thank goodness.

 
This picture of my parents was taken several years ago. I love it. It shows my dad with a real smile of his. Not a forced or fake one. Almost a laugh. I love his laugh. It is very contagious. Everything is funnier with my dad laughing. I will always miss the way he was. And am grateful for the time we have left with him. Love you dad!
 
 

2 comments:

staci said...

Oh Laurie. I can't even imagine how hard it must be to see your dad deteriorate like he is. I feel so bad for you, your kids and especially your mom. Especially knowing what her own mom went through as she saw this happen to her dad. So heartbreaking. Please know your family is in our thoughts & prayers. Cancer sucks & Alzheimer's sucks too!! xoxo

staci said...

I meant to say "knowing what her own mom went through as she saw this happen to her husband" not dad. Sorry that wasn't really clear. Hugs to all of you!!!